This One Word Shift Changed How I Look at All My Goals

Have you ever said you wanted something for years… but never made any real progress toward it?

Same.

Until I realized it was because I didn’t actually intend to make it happen.

“There is a big difference between wanting and intending.”

That line, from Changing to Thrive by James and Janice Prochaska, stopped me in my tracks.

There’s a moment in change that requires total honesty: Do I want this? Or do I intend to do something about it?

The Prochaskas go on to describe living in Rhode Island, where many people said they wanted to buy a home near the water, but few ever actually intended to. This was the perfect example to me—one a dream, the other, a plan.

When we intend to do something, we move beyond hope or wishful thinking. We set an intention—a clear inner commitment—and begin showing up for it.

"Once we shift to intending, we need to ask ourselves whether we are prepared to pay the price involved with such a change," they write. "There is no free change. Change costs us time and effort."

When I tune into my own goals, I can feel the energetic difference between wanting and intending. And in that difference lies the truth of why so many dreams stay just out of reach.

We say we want to start the business.

To lose weight.

To change careers.

To write the book.

To stop drinking.

To eat cleanly. To share our art.

To take the leap.

But do we actually intend to do it?

Wanting is passive. Intending is active.

Wanting is a feeling. Intending is a decision.

Wanting dreams. Intending builds them.

This morning, I sat down with a list of my biggest goals and dreams. Then I asked myself, honestly, for each one: Do I just want this? Or do I intend to make this my reality?

At first, I wanted to say I intended to do all of them. But then I thought… If that were true, wouldn’t I have already started or made more progress?

Here's what I'm learning: We can shift from wanting to intending at any time. But intention asks something of us—commitment, consistency, and courage.

It costs something. Time. Energy. Focus. Maybe even money.

And it also gives something. Momentum. Alignment. Integrity.

So if there’s something you’ve wanted for a while—something important, but still unfinished—ask yourself this:

Do I just want this? Or am I willing to pay the price to make it real?

Your answer might shift everything.

Which of your dreams are still just wants? And which do you intend to bring into reality?

Keep shining your light,

Bianca